I have just published my new book improbabilities a collection of my photo-surreal images at blurb.com. check it out and order a copy if you feel so inclined.
Intro from Dead Casinos – Miley Tunnel EP coming soon.
It seems that hardly a week goes by without the great british public being subjected to one celebrity chef or another taking on the mighty powers that be all in the name of quality, value for money and the health of the nation. Currently fighting it out for title of the peoples champion are the two usual suspects or as I prefer to call them ” bad mussel cookers”. Jamie Oliver and Hugh Fernley Whittingstall. No strangers to taking on the big guns both have been instrumental in improving the health and well-being of the nation.
While Hugh has regaled in showing us the joys of growing your own and the stark reality of catching/killing your dinner, he has also proved a worthy challenger for the title by single hand-idly taking on the might of the poultry industry, and the nations supermarket giants in a bid to improve the welfare of our favorite meat – Chicken.
Jamie Oliver has waged a one-man war on the governments school diners policy, employs the under privileged in his restaurants, created his Ministry of food in an attempt to get the nation cooking again and is now promising to save our bacon in a bid to persuade the British public to by British pork.
Meanwhile snapping at their heels are Uber chef Gordon Ramsey and culinary alchemist Heston Blumenthal , both employing their considerable talents to help turn around the fortunes of ailing businesses whilst hammering home the culinary holy trinity of Local – Seasonal and Quality produce.
Although I have found many of these programs highly entertaining they also posed a question in my mind – Why are we relying on celebrity chefs to save us from ourselves surely this is the job of our democratically elected government? I thought about this for a while and came up with what I felt to be the obvious answer – create a new government made up entirely of celebrity chefs! Surely running a successful country is just the same as running a successful restaurant – only on a bigger scale.
So with that in mind here are my candidates for my fantasy ” Kitchen Cabinet”.
Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families – Only one man for this job school diner reformer and bad mussel cooker Jaime Oliver.
Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs – Who better than our local hero & chicken choker Hugh Fernley Whittingstall.
Secretary of State for Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform - The perfect role for the Hestonator if he can turn around the fortunes of Little Chef just imagine what he can do for big business.
Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport - With experience in all three and maniacal rantings it could only be Delia Smith
Secretary of State for Energy and Climate Change - Rick Stien(face) who better to look after the little fishes.
Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs -Anglo-european relations would never be better with Raymond(point)Blanc in this post
Chancellor of the Exchequer – Reprising her Fathers government position and more of a darling than Alistair – Nigela(browns) Lawson.
Prime Minister – Only one chef has the charisma and balls to keep this government in line – Gordon get(the f%ck out of my kitchen) Ramsey.
Part 4 of my series of old photoshop tutorials.Beat the rat race with creative layers Click on the full screen icon in the top right hand corner of the Scribd viewer to view in glorious full screen mode.
